V: Good evening, lovely and wonderful viewers! I have a quiz for you:

What does one acquire when one crosses a Wild West outlaw with the only living descendent of the world’s most diabolical scientist?

L: I imagine a low-budget 1966 film that was produced in 8 days.

V: You mean you’ve already seen Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter?

L: Of course I have. As did you, when we ran it two years ago.

V: Funny. I don’t recall this this particular film…

<Tangella whispers to Vince>

V: You don’t say? Tangella informs me that besides surveying this film on this very programme on September 9th, 2017 I also viewed it on Amazon Prime in 2016, on Hulu in 2015, on HBO in 2012, and saw half of it at the El Capitan Theater on Hollywood boulevard in 2010. Why only half that time?

<Tangella whispers to Vince>

V: Ah, yes. I do indeed recall that evening. This was the night that Tangella decided she’d seen enough of the film and proceeded to remove all of the flush valves from the urinals in the gentlemen’s lavatory on the mezzanine of that particular playhouse. Needless to say, chaos ensued and I was motivated to forgo the remainder of the film. But enough about the movie. Welcome to Creature Features! You’ve previously met my stalwart butler, Mr. Livingston. You’ve likely bared witness to the bundle of chaos we call Tangella. And you most certainly recall yours truly, Vincent Van Dahl, far better than I remember tonight’s film. But let us instead chat about tonight’s guest, because we have yet another Star Trek alumni-member joining us to watch tonight’s film. For we are both pleased and honored to welcome Michael Aron to the show. You might remember Michael from when he portrayed a young Jack London on the next generation episode “Times Arrow.” This is the one where Commander Data loses his head. Literally. Michael will tell us what it was like working in Hollywood with an android, why Lieutenant Worf is always in such a foul mood and he’ll also enlighten us as to whether the young Wesley Crusher is just as irritating off-screen as he was on. So don’t go away! Because it’s going to be another night of Star Trek western fright, right here on Creature Features!

<Tangella does a thing>

Stay tuned!

Leave a Reply